We're at a time, in the biggest civil rights struggle of our generation (equality for LGBTs), when things are tipping ever so slowly in our favor. Our community has come so far in such a short period of time, as gay marriage has became legal in five states. So it's frustrating when the train begins to slow down or backtrack (as in California and Maine).
It almost seemed inevitable that marriage equality would easily find its way to two of the most liberal states in our union, New York and New Jersey; after all, the governors of those states have pledged very clearly that each would sign a marriage equality bill if one would cross his desk. For one reason or another, all politically motivated, each respective states' legislative bodies are holding up the process.
Just when the New York State Senate was finally strong-armed into promising a vote on gay marriage by year's end (without much hope of passing), some New Jersey Democrats are now showing signs of reversing support on the issue in their state. Even with the majority of residents in New Jersey supporting gay marriage (one of the highest percentages in the country), New Jersey senators are now hesitant because of the latest gubernatorial election results favoring the conservative candidate, Republican Chris Christie.
The New Jersey senators have become afraid of being the target of Christie's conservative base, and in effect, are afraid of losing their jobs. Sometimes however, life issues transcend personal fears and this issue is one of them. Passing equal rights legislation is the right thing to do, regardless of personal fears or religious beliefs. We are all Americans and deserve equal treatment and protection under the law. Senators, be on the right side of history, take a stand and do the right thing. At the end of your lives, you'll be able to look back and know that you made the right decision.
The following link will take you to an open letter, published at 365gay, addressed to Kenneth P. LaValle, a New York state senator opposed to marriage equality. The author of the letter made very logical and poignant arguments in favor of same-sex marriage. It's worth reading. Open Letter to an anti-gay NY state senator.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The Tale of Two Marriages
In this great country of ours, known as The United States of America, there are two different types of marriages: one is sanctioned by religious organizations and the other is sanctioned by the government. These institutions are really two completely different things, but due to semantics, the two are very often confused; and, because of this ambiguity, there is much controversy over same-sex marriage.
The meaning of the word "marriage" has evolved over time. Once marriage was merely a contract in which a family basically sold their daughter to a man, through the exchange of a dowry paid to his family. Over time, in the medieval era, marriage came to signify romance between two people. During the ninth century, the church began blessing unions. In the 1500s, marriage served as a way to save men and women from being "sinful" and as a way to promote procreation. Religious institutions have since been joining heterosexual couples together by the sacrament of marriage.
The early European and American governments were once very intertwined in religious marriage but have since also drastically evolved this union into what is known as secular marriage, or civil marriage. The U.S. government currently sanctions marriage but not in its religious sense of the word. Here in lies the confusion. Our government has chosen to continue using the same word to refer to a similar union but with a different meaning and set of rules. The US government's role in marriage, today, brings with it a set of legal protections and responsibilities that US citizens have come to depend on.
These modern day legal protections include, but are not limited to, inheritance of property upon death, hospital visitation on one's death-bed, life or death medical decisions, funeral arrangements, filing joint taxes, health insurance, and adoption of spouses' children. Married couples also become legally responsible for each other; an example would be financial accountability for the spouse's financial decisions and actions. Other responsibility includes being able to make medical decisions for one's spouse during his/her incapacitation.
These are the things civil marriage brings to the table for any married couple, except for the same-sex couples denied the protection of marriage rights, by their very own government in 45 of the 50 United States. Even these legal same-sex marriages in five states do not entitle these couples to all of the benefits of civil marriage. The Defense of Marriage Act, DOMA, prohibits the Federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages, thus prohibiting same-sex couples from filing joint federal income tax returns, as well as a host of other things.
As a straight person, can one imagine what it would be like if upon your spouse's death you were told by your in-laws that you'll have to sell your own home because the family wants their share? This is exactly what happens to gay couples, no matter how long they've been together or how in love or committed they've been. I've had people suggest that in the absence of marriage a gay couple could draw up private legal documents to enact one's own legal protection in these matters. But this is a very flawed compromise. You see these legal documents are challenged in courts of law every day and the gay partner, more times than not, will lose. Inevitably, the gay widow or widower will be forced out of his/her lifelong home, even after single-handedly paying the mortgage. This is a legal injustice.
The big concern for me is having my government protect me as a United States citizen. I am entitled to that as an American, as a gay American; but none-the-less, my interests are not protected. This is wrong. Someone else's personal religious beliefs should not infringe on my rights as an American, but they do. As an LGBT American I need my government to legally protect me just as it protects my straight neighbors. This is what I need from what my government refers to as "marriage".
The meaning of the word "marriage" has evolved over time. Once marriage was merely a contract in which a family basically sold their daughter to a man, through the exchange of a dowry paid to his family. Over time, in the medieval era, marriage came to signify romance between two people. During the ninth century, the church began blessing unions. In the 1500s, marriage served as a way to save men and women from being "sinful" and as a way to promote procreation. Religious institutions have since been joining heterosexual couples together by the sacrament of marriage.
The early European and American governments were once very intertwined in religious marriage but have since also drastically evolved this union into what is known as secular marriage, or civil marriage. The U.S. government currently sanctions marriage but not in its religious sense of the word. Here in lies the confusion. Our government has chosen to continue using the same word to refer to a similar union but with a different meaning and set of rules. The US government's role in marriage, today, brings with it a set of legal protections and responsibilities that US citizens have come to depend on.
These modern day legal protections include, but are not limited to, inheritance of property upon death, hospital visitation on one's death-bed, life or death medical decisions, funeral arrangements, filing joint taxes, health insurance, and adoption of spouses' children. Married couples also become legally responsible for each other; an example would be financial accountability for the spouse's financial decisions and actions. Other responsibility includes being able to make medical decisions for one's spouse during his/her incapacitation.
These are the things civil marriage brings to the table for any married couple, except for the same-sex couples denied the protection of marriage rights, by their very own government in 45 of the 50 United States. Even these legal same-sex marriages in five states do not entitle these couples to all of the benefits of civil marriage. The Defense of Marriage Act, DOMA, prohibits the Federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages, thus prohibiting same-sex couples from filing joint federal income tax returns, as well as a host of other things.
As a straight person, can one imagine what it would be like if upon your spouse's death you were told by your in-laws that you'll have to sell your own home because the family wants their share? This is exactly what happens to gay couples, no matter how long they've been together or how in love or committed they've been. I've had people suggest that in the absence of marriage a gay couple could draw up private legal documents to enact one's own legal protection in these matters. But this is a very flawed compromise. You see these legal documents are challenged in courts of law every day and the gay partner, more times than not, will lose. Inevitably, the gay widow or widower will be forced out of his/her lifelong home, even after single-handedly paying the mortgage. This is a legal injustice.
The big concern for me is having my government protect me as a United States citizen. I am entitled to that as an American, as a gay American; but none-the-less, my interests are not protected. This is wrong. Someone else's personal religious beliefs should not infringe on my rights as an American, but they do. As an LGBT American I need my government to legally protect me just as it protects my straight neighbors. This is what I need from what my government refers to as "marriage".
Monday, July 13, 2009
Cyberbullies and Other Emotional Terrorists
When we were still children, most of us saw the world through very naive and innocent eyes, never imagining the level of cruelty that lurks out in the world. As we grew older, however, we caught little glimpses of reality, of a world in which people can be very mean to others. In young adulthood we quickly realized that the bullies, once only on the playground, continue to harass and belittle in the real world too.
LGBT people have had more than their share of being bullied. Every day, someone is picked on, beaten or even killed simply because of who they are, simply for just being gay or transgendered.
In recent years, the gay community has come so far, in acquiring acceptance and obtaining some basic legal rights, yet hates crimes against LGBTs have risen to their highest level in five years*. And generally speaking, a hate crime is committed every hour in the United States.
It hits close to home too. Earlier this year a friend of mine, and his boyfriend, were holding hands as they walked down the street in South Beach, during Winter Party weekend. On several separate occasions, people (adults) yelled, "faggots" at them. And this was in South Beach, of all places (where gays roam free in their natural habitat). One of the perpetrators was a middle-aged woman!
That story, from my friend, turned my stomach. Some times I feel so removed from situations like this, mostly because I live in Miami and New York City, where peoples' differences are usually embraced and where acceptance, or at least tolerance, is the rule. But this time, it happened right here, and to someone I know.
Then I recently heard, on the news, that despite Broward county's (the next county north of Miami) diverse population and large gay community, it has one of the highest hate crimes rates in the country. I really couldn't believe my ears. Right here in my own backyard. What is wrong with people that they feel so threatened or repulsed by someone different than themselves, that they have to lash out at others, at those just going through life minding their own business?
This is horrible and completely unacceptable, yet it happens everyday, here in my own backyard, and throughout America. But the next story is even more heart breaking and crosses every line that exists in society.
This morning when I woke up, I checked my Youtube account and saw that my young cyberfriend, Quinn, had produced another video. But something unusual caught my eye. The video was entitled, I'm Very, Very Scared.
Just for quick background, Quinn is a nine-year-old gay boy, who produces insightful Youtube videos about his experiences growing up gay. See my earlier posting, How Young is too Young to Know if You're Gay?, for more background.
In young Quinn's latest video, he was awake in the middle of the night, because of a threat he had received through his Youtube vlog. Some pathetic, cyberbully threatened to kill him because of who he is, a young gay kid growing up in California. He was rightfully scared, and confused and couldn't sleep. Remember Quinn is only nine years old. He was brought to tears, as he tried to make sense of it. It brought tears to my eyes, as I watched this young kid worrying about some low-life, emotional terrorist with the goal of scaring Quinn into silence.
As different as we all are, we really are just the same, made of the same cosmic dust, particles and genes. We're all in the game of life together, just trying to survive. Why make it harder for anyone? Pass on the message of "live and let live". And, encourage your Senator to vote in favor of the Matthew Shepard Act.
Have a look at Quinn's video for yourself.
*Confronting the New Faces of Hate: Hate Crimes in America 2009
LGBT people have had more than their share of being bullied. Every day, someone is picked on, beaten or even killed simply because of who they are, simply for just being gay or transgendered.
In recent years, the gay community has come so far, in acquiring acceptance and obtaining some basic legal rights, yet hates crimes against LGBTs have risen to their highest level in five years*. And generally speaking, a hate crime is committed every hour in the United States.
It hits close to home too. Earlier this year a friend of mine, and his boyfriend, were holding hands as they walked down the street in South Beach, during Winter Party weekend. On several separate occasions, people (adults) yelled, "faggots" at them. And this was in South Beach, of all places (where gays roam free in their natural habitat). One of the perpetrators was a middle-aged woman!
That story, from my friend, turned my stomach. Some times I feel so removed from situations like this, mostly because I live in Miami and New York City, where peoples' differences are usually embraced and where acceptance, or at least tolerance, is the rule. But this time, it happened right here, and to someone I know.
Then I recently heard, on the news, that despite Broward county's (the next county north of Miami) diverse population and large gay community, it has one of the highest hate crimes rates in the country. I really couldn't believe my ears. Right here in my own backyard. What is wrong with people that they feel so threatened or repulsed by someone different than themselves, that they have to lash out at others, at those just going through life minding their own business?
This is horrible and completely unacceptable, yet it happens everyday, here in my own backyard, and throughout America. But the next story is even more heart breaking and crosses every line that exists in society.
This morning when I woke up, I checked my Youtube account and saw that my young cyberfriend, Quinn, had produced another video. But something unusual caught my eye. The video was entitled, I'm Very, Very Scared.
Just for quick background, Quinn is a nine-year-old gay boy, who produces insightful Youtube videos about his experiences growing up gay. See my earlier posting, How Young is too Young to Know if You're Gay?, for more background.
In young Quinn's latest video, he was awake in the middle of the night, because of a threat he had received through his Youtube vlog. Some pathetic, cyberbully threatened to kill him because of who he is, a young gay kid growing up in California. He was rightfully scared, and confused and couldn't sleep. Remember Quinn is only nine years old. He was brought to tears, as he tried to make sense of it. It brought tears to my eyes, as I watched this young kid worrying about some low-life, emotional terrorist with the goal of scaring Quinn into silence.
As different as we all are, we really are just the same, made of the same cosmic dust, particles and genes. We're all in the game of life together, just trying to survive. Why make it harder for anyone? Pass on the message of "live and let live". And, encourage your Senator to vote in favor of the Matthew Shepard Act.
Have a look at Quinn's video for yourself.
*Confronting the New Faces of Hate: Hate Crimes in America 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Happy Gay Pride!
Today marks the 40th anniversary of the 1969 Stonewall Riots, which ultimately began the gay rights movement. Today thousands upon thousands will gather in U.S. cities to celebrate gay pride by attending or marching in gay pride parades.
NYC Pride, 1999. Corner of Christopher & Bleeker. Photo taken by,
my friend, David Posey.
New York City, with one of the largest parades in the nation, will find parade participants marching down Fifth Avenue and then through Greenwich Village via Christopher Street. For many years my friends and I met at the corner of Christopher and Bleeker, in the heart of the Village, to watch the eclectic gays and their supporters go by. Afterwards, thousands reveled in the streets and in the neighborhood bars, for a fun-filled, high energy party running into the wee hours of the night. This, of course, is still true today.
NYC Pride 1999, Stonewall Veterans. Photo taken by my friend,
David Posey.
I haven't been to the annual parade in years. Crowds just aren't my thing anymore, but I have years of great memories to remind me of the camaraderie formed and celebrated on this day.
Young and dorky, Frank and Bill, at NYC Gay Pride 1999.
As much fun as this day is, we shouldn't forget the real meaning behind gay pride: dignity and true equality for all. The gay community has come so far since 1969, especially in the last couple of years; however, LGBTs still have a very long way to go. The most pressing issues we still face include passing ENDA, over-turning DOMA, and reversing Don't Ask, Don't Tell, as well as passing an all inclusive Federal hate crimes bill/Matthew Shepard Act (with protection for the transgendered as well). Now that you've indulged me, have fun and happy gay pride day.
NYC Pride, 1999. Corner of Christopher & Bleeker. Photo taken by,
my friend, David Posey.
New York City, with one of the largest parades in the nation, will find parade participants marching down Fifth Avenue and then through Greenwich Village via Christopher Street. For many years my friends and I met at the corner of Christopher and Bleeker, in the heart of the Village, to watch the eclectic gays and their supporters go by. Afterwards, thousands reveled in the streets and in the neighborhood bars, for a fun-filled, high energy party running into the wee hours of the night. This, of course, is still true today.
NYC Pride 1999, Stonewall Veterans. Photo taken by my friend,
David Posey.
I haven't been to the annual parade in years. Crowds just aren't my thing anymore, but I have years of great memories to remind me of the camaraderie formed and celebrated on this day.
Young and dorky, Frank and Bill, at NYC Gay Pride 1999.
As much fun as this day is, we shouldn't forget the real meaning behind gay pride: dignity and true equality for all. The gay community has come so far since 1969, especially in the last couple of years; however, LGBTs still have a very long way to go. The most pressing issues we still face include passing ENDA, over-turning DOMA, and reversing Don't Ask, Don't Tell, as well as passing an all inclusive Federal hate crimes bill/Matthew Shepard Act (with protection for the transgendered as well). Now that you've indulged me, have fun and happy gay pride day.
1998 NYC Pride Photos
Here are more gay pride photos. These are from New York City Pride Day in 1998. All photos are taken by my friend, David Posey. Enjoy and happy gay pride.
Jason Tucker & Frank. NYC Pride 1998.
Balcony Boys. NYC Pride 1998.
Rainbow Flag. NYC Pride 1998
Carnival Hottie. NYC Pride 1998.
Gogo Boys on Float. NYC Pride 1998.
Small Supporter. NYC Pride 1998
Balloon Rainbow. NYC Pride 1998
Jason Tucker & Frank. NYC Pride 1998.
Balcony Boys. NYC Pride 1998.
Rainbow Flag. NYC Pride 1998
Carnival Hottie. NYC Pride 1998.
Gogo Boys on Float. NYC Pride 1998.
Small Supporter. NYC Pride 1998
Balloon Rainbow. NYC Pride 1998
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
How Young is too Young to Know if You're Gay?
How young is too young to know if you're gay? The simple and honest answer is, there's no such thing as being too young to know. In order to understand, one has to realize that homosexuality isn't primarily about sex and one has to accept that homosexuality is an innate trait with which we are born. I was only about four or five years old when I knew I was attracted to males. My attraction wasn't necessarily sexual, but more along the lines of having crushes on boys and men.
My first memory of being attracted to the same gender was when I was very young, probably about three years of age, when I was more than curious about my father's anatomy. Then as I got a little older (about four or five) , I developed crushes on older neighborhood guys. I found myself gushing over my older sister's male friend, Dale; and, I would become very happy and excited when he was near or even when he would just drive by the house.
When I was in first grade, I had a boyfriend named Scotty. He and I would hold hands and hug and tell everyone that we were going to get married. At that age, I constantly had dreams of Scotty and other males, both younger and older. It was never natural for me to be attracted to the opposite sex.
This attraction had nothing to do with sexual desire, and everything to do with who I was and what was natural for me, and still is today. As an adult, of course, we are sexual beings and sexual desire is part of human life. Naturally my sexual desires and attraction involve adults of the same gender, because of who I am.
This brings me to my point today. I received a "friend request" from a nine year old boy named Quinn, on Youtube. At first I was very concerned that a young boy would request friendship from an older man on the Internet, then as I discovered through reading his profile, that Quinn is a young gay kid; and, his parents control his Youtube on-line account. Quinn produces videos which are very honest and educational, giving a close look inside the life of a young gay child, learning to deal with life. Below is one of his videos which gives amazing insight into how a young child could know if he's gay at that tender age. Remember, it's not about sex.
I have to say, that I identified very closely with what Quinn had to say. There are many parallels in my childhood which I share with Quinn. I found myself nodding my head in agreement with so many things he had to say. It really could have been me in this video many years ago. Take a look into the life of Quinn and you'll soon discover the impressive mental maturity of a young gay boy in 2009.
My first memory of being attracted to the same gender was when I was very young, probably about three years of age, when I was more than curious about my father's anatomy. Then as I got a little older (about four or five) , I developed crushes on older neighborhood guys. I found myself gushing over my older sister's male friend, Dale; and, I would become very happy and excited when he was near or even when he would just drive by the house.
When I was in first grade, I had a boyfriend named Scotty. He and I would hold hands and hug and tell everyone that we were going to get married. At that age, I constantly had dreams of Scotty and other males, both younger and older. It was never natural for me to be attracted to the opposite sex.
This attraction had nothing to do with sexual desire, and everything to do with who I was and what was natural for me, and still is today. As an adult, of course, we are sexual beings and sexual desire is part of human life. Naturally my sexual desires and attraction involve adults of the same gender, because of who I am.
This brings me to my point today. I received a "friend request" from a nine year old boy named Quinn, on Youtube. At first I was very concerned that a young boy would request friendship from an older man on the Internet, then as I discovered through reading his profile, that Quinn is a young gay kid; and, his parents control his Youtube on-line account. Quinn produces videos which are very honest and educational, giving a close look inside the life of a young gay child, learning to deal with life. Below is one of his videos which gives amazing insight into how a young child could know if he's gay at that tender age. Remember, it's not about sex.
I have to say, that I identified very closely with what Quinn had to say. There are many parallels in my childhood which I share with Quinn. I found myself nodding my head in agreement with so many things he had to say. It really could have been me in this video many years ago. Take a look into the life of Quinn and you'll soon discover the impressive mental maturity of a young gay boy in 2009.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
OMG! Chastity Bono is Becoming a Man
I just read that the daughter of Sonny and Cher, Chastity Bono, is having a sex change to become a man. I'm not shocked too easily but for some reason, I was rather surprised to have read this; I do, however, totally support her decision to embrace her authentic being. This could help shed more light and acceptance on the transgendered.
I remember when Chastity announced that she was a lesbian about 20 years ago. Cher, as open minded and gay friendly as she is, had some trouble accepting that her daughter is gay. I can only imagine how taken back she might have been to discover this latest news; hopefully not too troubled.
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